


Love Is Something Even Glitch's Can Feel

by Danti_Forever



Category: jacksepticeye
Genre: Anger, Anti is Kinda Sweet, Bandages, Blood, Blushing, Cuddling, Cuties, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, Fear, Feels, Fluff and Angst, German Language, Getting along, Henrik Does Though, Henrik is Loving and Trying to be Helpful, Hidden Feelings, Humor, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Sexual Content, Kinda, Kissing, Knives, Love, M/M, Making Out, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Near Death, Neck Wounds, Nightmares, Over protective Friends, Pain, Passing Out, Scared of Feelings, Screaming, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Someone Can't Deal With His Feelings, Staring, Stitching, Swearing, Sweet Ending, Sweetness, They Don't Trust Anti at First, cursing, glitching, happiness, medical things, pinning, shaking, sleeping, this is way too long, this was longer than expected, untrusting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 07:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20354968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danti_Forever/pseuds/Danti_Forever
Summary: Anti is someone who has caused much pain in his years and he deeply regrets it, but he won't admit that to anyone, not even his crush. He starts to slowly develop a bond with Henrik when he goes to get some supplies to fix his neck. Anti is scared to open up at first, keeping Henrik at arms length, but things start to change. Henrik's friends are weary of Anti and don't really want him close to Anti, but love always finds a way, even inside a supposedly cold Glitch's heart.





	Love Is Something Even Glitch's Can Feel

Anti scowled as he heard laughter coming from the living room. He didn’t care too much for it, but it left a pang in his heart. He didn’t want to be apart of it necessarily but it hurt not even having a choice to be with them. The others didn’t trust him, and he couldn’t say he was surprised. He put them through hell and even nearly killed a few of them.   
He stood up and ran a hand through his hair, sighing softly. He looked around and frowned. He was in his room, which was mostly black with just a few things inside it. He had a bed, a dresser, a closet, a chair and that was mostly it. He had a collection of knives inside his closet that he liked to look at. He cleaned them regularly and sharpened them at least twice a month. Other than that, he had nothing in his room.   
He huffed softly and rubbed his forehead before leaving the room and slowly walking towards the stairs. He could hear Jackie laughing and telling the others about some of the things he had done while he had been out running his rounds. He felt his lips twitch slightly. It always amazed him how Jackie could be so happy and loud all the time. Then again, he guessed they were all loud in their own ways. He heard Marvin shout and laugh at something Jackie said. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Part of him wanted to go down, but he wouldn't be welcome and he knew he wouldn’t be. Every time he entered a room, they would all go silent and just watch him, waiting for him to snap, waiting for him to lash out. He huffed softly and he couldn’t say he blamed them at all. He had been terrible to them. All of them. He turned and walked back to his room, deciding against going downstairs.   
Anti had ended up falling asleep and he suddenly jerked away, gasping quietly. He had another nightmare. He was getting those more often. He sighed and frowned. His neck, chest and stomach felt wet. He reached up and touched his neck and frowned. His wound had opened and bled all over him while he slept. He huffed and swung his legs off the bed and stood up and left the room. He stopped and listened for the others but didn’t hear anything. He didn’t know how late it was but he guessed it had to be pretty late for the house to be quiet. He walked downstairs silently and saw no one. He nodded to himself and walked down a hallway, frowning as he felt the warm blood on him slowly become cold due to the air hitting it.   
He stopped in front of a door and sighed. He slowly turned the knob and walked in. The office was silent and cold, so different from when the doctor normally inhabit it. He ran a hand through his hair again and silently walked further in then stopped when he saw said doctor passed out at his desk, pen still in his hand and an empty coffee cup beside him. He frowned softly as he stared at Henrik. Henrik had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was greasy, he was skinny and pale, too pale to be normal. He hated it when Henrik fell asleep at his desk. Henrik had his own room, but he was hardly ever in it. He was always in his office, doing paperwork and helping the others when needed. He licked his lips and forced his eyes away, feeling warmth come to his cheeks. He didn’t need to be staring. He needed to grab what he needed and to get out.   
Anti silently walked to the cabinets and opened them. He pulled out some gauze, medical tape, cotton balls and antiseptic. He silently closed the cabinets then froze when he heard a soft groan behind him. He looked back and saw Henrik sitting up and rubbing his face. Anti swallowed and silently turned around and watched Henrik, hoping he would just get up and leave the office, but he never had much luck.   
Anti watched as Henrik stood and stretched and mumbled under his breath in German. Henrik gathered up some paperwork and neatened it up and grabbed his empty coffee mug. Anti froze when Henrik turned. He jumped slightly when Henrik swore and dropped his mug on the ground, jumping back. He heard the mug shattered on the floor and he stood there, frozen as he and Henrik stared at each other in shock, neither knowing what to do.   
“What the fuck?!” Henrik shouted, his German accent thicker from tiredness and fright. “Why the fuck are you here?”   
Anti winced at Henrik’s shouting and took a step back. He could feel more blood bleeding down his neck as he started freaking out. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to speak, and he felt that if he glitched away, that it would only freak Henrik out more, which was the last thing he wanted to do. He swallowed and narrowed his eyes.   
“Just came to get things for my neck even though it’s none of your fucking business.” Anti hoped his voice came out strong, he couldn’t hear over the pounding of his heart. He watched Henrik frown and look down at his neck.   
“That’s going to need stitches.” Henrik said. Anti narrowed his eyes. He didn’t know if he should let Henrik work on his neck.   
Anti eyed Henrik as he walked closer and he saw Henrik eyeing eyeing him back. They were both hesitant to approach the other. He watched as Henrik got a better look at his neck.   
“Go sit.” Henrik said and pointed at the table. Anti frowned and growled, glitching slightly. He saw Henrik pull back a little. Anti huffed and put the supplies he had gathered down and walked to the table and hopped up on it. He watched as Henrik opened the cabinet and pulled out a needle and some thread and cleaning wipes, then grabbed the supplies he had gotten earlier.  
Anti watched as Henrik slowly came towards him, watching him closely.   
“Tilt your head up.” Henrik said, his tone brooking no argument. Anti huffed and tilted his head up slightly, watching Henrik. He watched as Henrik pushed his glasses up his nose and grabbed some of the cotton balls and poured some of the antiseptic on them. He hissed as Henrik dabbed at the cut with the cotton balls, cleaning it.   
“Relax. It’s your fault you have it in the first place.” Henrik said, his voice clipped. Anti narrowed his eyes and growled softly. He watched as Henrik grabbed the wipes and cleaned the blood off his neck and looked closer at the wound. He clenched his hands into fists as Henrik inspected it. He watched as Henrik grabbed the needle and cleaned it with antiseptic then threaded the needle. He looked up at the ceiling the felt the needle piercing the skin a few seconds later as Henrik started stitching the wound closed.   
Anti clenched his jaw as Henrik sewed his neck wound closed. He tried focusing on something other than the needle going through his skin over and over again. He ended up focusing on the feeling of Henrik’s cold hands brushing against him, Henrik’s warm breath hitting his skin, the feeling of Henrik’s hips between his legs. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could smell Henrik, slight coffee scent, citrus, some men’s stuff and the smell of medical things. Anti clenched his hands tighter and stopped himself from taking another deep breath. He might have had a small thing for the doctor, but he worked hard to keep it hidden. He didn’t want the doctor or anyone else to know he had a small thing for the man in front of him. He huffed slightly tried to force the thoughts of having the doctor underneath him out of his mind. His eyes snapped open when he felt Henrik cut the thread.   
“Done.” Henrik said softly and grabbed the gauze and wrapped up Anti’s neck firmly, but not too tight.   
Anti tilted his head up and looked at the doctor. He reached up and felt the gauze and frowned. He looked at Henrik and nodded a thanks. Henrik nodded back and grabbed his supplies and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. Anti stood up off the table and looked at Henrik. He huffed and walked out of the office and back upstairs. He went to the bathroom and took off his shirt and threw it in the clothes basket and grabbed a rag. He wet it and cleaned off the blood on his chest and stomach and tossed that with his shirt and walked to his bedroom and laid down on his bed. He touched his neck again and closed his eyes, seeing blue eyes behind a pair of thick framed glasses. He sighed and buried his face in the pillow before going to sleep.   
Anti woke up late the next morning. He groaned and touched his neck again. He could hear the others downstairs, already making a bunch of noise. He huffed and got up, pulled on a fresh shirt and left the room. He silently walked downstairs and into the kitchen and everything suddenly went silent. He looked around and the others were sitting at the table, all staring at him with wide eyes. He narrowed his eyes and growled before walking to the coffee pot and fixing himself a cup of coffee. He could feel the others staring at his back and he promptly ignored all of them. He sighed softly and took a drink of his coffee. He was about to leave when he heard a voice.   
“How’s your neck today?” Henrik asked. Anti frowned and didn’t answer. He tightened his grip on his coffee cup and left the kitchen still feeling their stares on his back, burning holes into him.   
Anti stayed in his room, looking up at the ceiling. He had heard the others talking off and on throughout the day. He sighed and touched his neck again, narrowing his eyes. He kept wondering why Henrik had stitched up his neck. He and Henrik had never really gotten along, especially after what he had done to Henrik, so it was surprising that Henrik had helped him out at all. He sighed and rolled onto his side and curled into a ball, lightly touching his neck. He knew that he’d have to change the bandages soon, but he could wait a few more hours until he knew that Henrik was asleep. He didn’t want to run into Henrik alone. It wasn’t that he was scared of the doctor, far from it, it was just that he didn’t want to be close to the doctor, especially after what had happened. He huffed and stared up at the ceiling, getting lost in thought.   
After a few hours, Anti got up and left the room and silently walked downstairs. Everything was silent and he knew that everyone was asleep, or out. He silently walked to Henrik’s office and walked inside, but stopped when he saw Henrik sitting in his chair, watching him. It looked like Henrik had been waiting up for him. He huffed softly and crossed his arms.   
“What are you doing up?”   
“What are you doing coming to my office so late?” Henrik responded, his eyes locked on Anti’s. Anti huffed and rolled his eyes.  
“That’s none of your business.”   
“Actually, considering it is my office, I believe that it is my business Anti.” Henrik said and tilted his head to the side and pushed his glasses up. Anti clenched his jaw and looked away. He sighed.  
“I’m here for more gauze.” Anti mumbled. Henrik nodded and stood up.   
“I want to look at the stitches anyways and see how you are healing.” He walked over to the cabinet and opened it.   
“Go sit.”   
Anti sat on the table, his head tilted back as Henrik stared at the stitches, tilting his head side to side and lightly touching them.   
“You are healing well. I believe that it won’t be much longer before they can come out.” Henrik said as he started to wrap Ant’s neck with new gauze. Anti hummed and blinked, he looked at Henrik and nodded a thanks. Henrik nodded back then cocked his head to the side.   
“Why didn’t you answer me this morning when I asked about your neck?” Henrik asked, eyes locked with Anti’s. Anti shrugged.  
“Why do you care?” Anti asked, his voice clipped. Henrik hummed and stared at Anti.   
“You know, it wouldn’t kill you to open up to someone. Even if it is me.” Henrik said, his voice sincere. Anti scowled and looked away. He sighed. He couldn’t talk to Henrik, he couldn’t talk to anyone. He pushed Henrik back and stood up and started towards the door. He felt a hand grab his wrist.   
“Anti…” Henrik said softly. Anti felt his face warm up and he pulled away from Henrik and left the office, going back to his room.   
Anti didn’t come out the next day. He laid on his bed, staring at the wall, touching his neck. He frowned, lost in thought. He was wondering why Henrik had wanted him to stay yesterday. He didn’t understand why Henrik had tried to hold him back. Part of him regretted not staying there, but at the same time he was glad that he didn’t stay. He didn’t know what could have happened and part of him didn’t want to know. He sighed and rolled onto his back and played with the bandages. He needed to get his mind off the doctor or he was going to drive himself crazy. He huffed and rolled back on his side and curled up, he closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.   
Anti woke up to someone shaking him. He gasped and grabbed onto someone’s arms and his eyes snapped open and he was met with concerned eyes behind thick framed black glasses. He panted hard and swallowed. His throat was sore, as if he had been screaming and crying for a while. He dug his nails into Henrik’s arms and closed his eyes and laid his head back. He could feel his body shaking bad and he was drawing in short choppy breaths. He could feel Henrik’s hands gripped tight on his shoulders and he was pretty sure that was the only thing keeping him grounded. He held back a soft whimper and opened his eyes and looked up at Henrik and Henrik stared back at him.   
Anti felt Henrik gently squeeze his shoulders.   
“Are you okay…? You were screaming and begging for someone to stop… And your neck is bleeding again… You have soaked yourself and the bed with blood…” Henrik’s voice was soft and gentle. Anti nodded gently and closed his eyes again. He let go of Henrik’s arms.   
“I’m fine… Just another nightmare…”  
“Do you get them often?” Anti shrugged and licked his lips. He slowly sat up and felt Henrik help him. He sighed softly and pressed his face against Henrik’s chest and swallowed again. He could feel the remains of the nightmare scratching at his mind and he didn’t want to be swallowed by those horrible thoughts again.   
Anti opened his eyes when he felt Henrik move his hair away from his face. He looked up at Henrik with tired eyes. He felt drained, tired and sore, especially in his neck.   
“Come on.” Henrik said softly. “Come to my office and I’ll get you cleaned up and you can just rest there so you won’t be alone.” Anti wanted to refuse but he couldn’t. Not with the state he was in. He nodded softly and let Henrik help him up. He leaned against Henrik and walked with him down to his office. He was extremely grateful that no one was around when they walked downstairs. He didn’t want to deal with the others right now, he wasn’t sure he would be able to. He sighed and leaned against Henrik and let Henrik take him into his office and let Henrik set him down on the table. He watched as Henrik grabbed some supplies and come back over.   
“Take off your shirt.” Henrik said and Anti nodded. He carefully pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the ground. The air felt cold against his skin, especially with the warm blood cooling on his skin.   
Anti watched as Henrik started working on him. He watched as Henrik’s eyes focused on what was in front of him. He watched as Henrik’s eyes would twitch if he thought he was hurting him. He watched as Henrik’s hands moved efficiently and smoothing, not trembling or shaking. He watches as Henrik blinked slowly and breathed deeply. He watched as Henrik licked his lips. He watched as Henrik bit the inside of his cheek in concentration. He watched as Henrik’s hair slightly fell in front of his face. He watched as Henrik’s face would twitch when he did different things.  
He blinked when Henrik pulled back.   
“Okay. I’m done. Stay right there. I’ll be right back.” Henrik said then walked away. Anti sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He lightly touched his neck and felt new bandages there. He licked his lips and sighed softly. It had been nice to have Henrik that close to him. He wished he didn’t have this stupid crush on the doctor, but there was nothing that he could do about that now. He knew he was in too deep. He knew there was no backing out. He huffed slightly and blinked slowly, getting lost in thought. He wondered why Henrik even bothered to go check on him. He wondered why Henrik had decided to help him. He wondered why Henrik cared at all about him considering the things he did in the past.   
Anti jumped when he felt something warm touch his shoulder. He looked up and saw Henrik standing there with a wet rag in his hand. He took the rag and started to clean the now dried blood off. He could feel Henrik's eyes on him. He knew Henrik was watching his every move but he had a feeling that it wasn’t because he was worried about what Anti would do. He huffed softly and licked his lips and cleaned the rest of his torso off then handed the now red rag to Henrik. He would have to finish the rest of his body later. He looked up at Henrik and saw Henrik was staring at him. He huffed and narrowed his eyes and saw Henrik smile softly.   
“You can lay on the bed. Even if someone comes in, I don’t think they’ll notice you.” Henrik said and motioned to the bed in the far corner of the room. Anti looked at it and nodded softly. He got up and walked over to it and laid down, pulling the covers over himself and closed his eyes. He liked this. The bed smelled of Henrik and was warm and soft. He sighed and curled up then slowly fell asleep, and for the first time in a while, he was relaxed.   
Anti woke up sometime later and groaned softly. He opened his eyes and looked around. He saw Henrik sitting at his desk, scribbling on some paperwork. He blinked and smiled softly. He looked at the clock that was sitting on desk and frowned. It was late, almost midnight. He huffed softly and silently stood up and walked over to Henrik. He gently touched the doctor’s shoulder and smirked slightly when Henrik jumped and looked at him.   
“Come on. It’s late. You need to get to sleep.” Anti said softly.   
“No. I need to finish this damned paperwork.” Henrik huffed.   
“It will still be here tomorrow. You need to take care of yourself too.” Anti said. He reached forward and took the pen from Henrik’s hand and sat it down. He carefully pulled Henrik up and pulled him upstairs. He chuckled softly when Henrik huffed. He led Henrik to his room and forced Henrik to lay down. He covered Henrik up and turned to leave the room.   
Anti stopped when he felt a hand around his wrist. He looked over his shoulder and saw Henrik looking at him.   
“Stay.” Henrik said softly and gently tugged on Anti’s arm. “I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want you alone ether.” Henrik’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper. Anti frowned and licked his lips. He didn’t want anyone to walk in and see them together.  
‘It will be okay Anti. No one will barge in okay?” Henrik said, as if reading Anti’s mind. Anti sighed softly and licked his lips. He stared at Henrik before finally sighing and nodded. He crawled into bed with Henrik and laid still, looking at him.   
Anti frowned when he felt Henrik’s hand slides up his arm to his face. He looked at Henrik and Henrik looked back at him. He sighed softly and closed his eyes as Henrik started playing with his hair. He sighed softly and relaxed against the bed. He cracked one eye open as Henrik scooted closer. He watched Henrik as Henrik smiled at him and ran his hand through Anti’s hair. He smiled softly and pressed his face against the pillow and huffed. He loved it when someone played with his hair. He slipped an arm around Henrik and pulled him closer and smiled as Henrik pressed his face against his neck. He could feel Henrik’s heartbeat and his breathing. It calmed him even more and slowly pulled back back under. Before he fell asleep, he was sure he heard Henrik whisper his name and press a kiss to his forehead, but he wasn’t positive.   
Anti woke up slowly and sighed softly. He was laying on his back and he could feel a warm object on him. He frowned softly and opened his eyes and looked down and found Henrik laying on his chest, his arm around him and Anti’s arm was around Henrik. Anti blinked softly and smiled when he noticed that Henrik was still fast asleep, breathing softly. His glasses were off and his lips were parted, his cheeks a soft red color. His hair was all over the place and his eyelids were fluttering every once in a while. He gently tightens his arm around Henrik and rubbed Henrik’s back gently. He could feel Henrik’s soft breaths on his bare chest and could feel each little twitch Henrik made.   
He liked this. He liked having Henrik here, against him. He liked waking up with Henrik. He liked watching Henrik sleep. He liked having Henrik close. He liked this. He liked how his mind was silent for the first time in months. He liked that Henrik trusted him enough to fall asleep with him so close. He licked his lips and smiled. He closed his eyes and wished for this moment to last. For this sweet, silent, calm moment to last just for a little while longer. He wished for this to be his forever, but he knew that would never happen. Whatever this was, it wouldn't last long. Nothing in his life ever stays happy for a long. He never got that lucky. He sighed softly and carefully held Henrik closer.   
Anti opened his eyes when he felt Henrik’s breathing changed and felt Henrik shift. He looked down and watched as Henrik slowly woke up. He licked his lips and felt fear coursed through him as Henrik slowly sat up and cleaned his eyes. He saw Henrik grab his glasses and look at him. Anti bit his lip and watched Henrik’s expression closely. He blinked when Henrik smiled softly and stretched out, running a hand through his hair.   
“Are you hungry? I’m hungry.” Henrik said, his voice slurred from sleep and his accent was thicker than normal. “I also want coffee…” Henrik huffed and rubbed his eyes and stood up, stretching again. Anti looked over him and licked his lips. He saw Henrik look over his shoulder and smirk. He huffed and looked away, covering his face. He heard Henrik laugh.   
“Come on. Get up. Let’s get dressed and go get breakfast. I’m starving.” He listened as Henrik walk around the room. Anti got up and walked to the door.  
“Wait… You will come down for breakfast right?” Henrik asked hesitantly. Anti looked back at him and Henrik looked worried. Anti sighed and shrugged.  
“Please… For me.. At least…” Henrik said softly. Anti sighed and stared at Henrik. He nodded softly then left the room.   
Anti silently walked down the stairs a few minutes later. He had showered and put on some clean clothes before leaving his room. He could feel icy fear curl in his gut. He wished he hadn’t agreed to this. He didn’t know if he was ready to face the others for a long period of time. He took a deep breath as he walked through the living room towards the kitchen. He could hear the others moving around, talking, and laughing loudly. He sighed and swallowed hard before walking in. He saw everyone in there, smiling and laughing. The smell of bacon, eggs, pancakes, coffee and orange juice was in the air. Some of them were at the table with plates of food and others were putting food on their plates. He saw Henrik at the coffee pot, fixing himself coffee. Henrik was the first to notice him.  
“Good Morning Anti. Would you like some coffee?” Henrik smiled at him. Everyone stopped and looked at Anti. Anti froze and clenched his hands into fists. He walked over to Henrik and nodded softly. Henrik handed him a coffee cup and smiled at him.   
“Relax Anti. You’re okay. No one here will hurt you.” Henrik said softly and smiles at him. Henrik walked to the table and sat down. Anti sighed and fixed him a cup of coffee and walked over to the table and sat down beside Henrik and slowly sipped at his coffee.  
Anti watched as everyone sat down and watched him. He stared down at his coffee and sighed softly. He stared at the table, lost in thought, wondering why he was down here, wondering why Henrik wanted him down here. He blinked slowly and gently swirled the coffee in his cup, watching it move around and it reminded him of the chaotic calm of his life. He smirked softly as he watched the coffee swirl around then felt someone gently shaking his shoulder. He blinked and looked over and saw Henrik staring at him.   
“Chase asked you a question…” Henrik said softly. Anti blinked and looked at Chase.  
“Yes?” Anti asked and stared at Chase. He watched as Chase frowned and shifted and looked away. Chase had never been confrontational.   
“Why did you suddenly decide to come down?” Chase asked, his voice was hurried and hushed. Anti frowned and his eye twitched. He didn’t know how he should answer this.   
“In asked him to.” Henrik said and took a sip of his coffee. “He needs to mingle with us more if any of us wish to get along. Plus he isn’t so bad.” Henrik smiled softly.   
Anti blinked and looked at Henrik in subdued shock. He blinked and scowled before looking back at his coffee and huffing. He finished his cup before standing and leaving the room, his hands clenched into fists. He didn’t know why he was upset. He knew that the others didn’t trust him, but it still hurt to have it shoved into his face so bluntly. Then Henrik just said that and that. It made him feel things. Things stronger than he has felt in a very long time. He sighed and walked into his room and shut the door. He leaned against the door and looked around his room and scowled. There was still dried blood on his bed and the room itself was cold and empty, unlike Henrik’s room. Even though Henrik was rarely in his room, it was still warmer and was cluttered with things unlike Anti’s was. He sighed and walked over to the bed and pulled the sheets and blanket off and grabbed the spare set he had left in the closet and put them on the bed. He took the bloody things to the wash then returned to his room and laid down, touching the bandages on his neck again.   
Anti had closed his eyes, not sleeping but just resting when he heard his door open. His eyes snapped open and he listened closely. He heard someone walk across the floor lay in bed beside him.   
“I know you are awake Anti.” Henrik said softly and pressed his face against Anti’s back. Anti huffed and relaxed. He looked over his shoulder at Henrik who was pressed against his back, his face hidden in the folds of Anti’s shirt.   
“Are you okay?” Anti asked softly, a slight frown on his face.   
“I’m fine. Just laying here and waiting before I go to my office.” Henrik huffed. “I need to finish that paperwork and check over things and make sure everything where it’s supposed to be…” Henrik groaned softly and huffed. Anti smiled softly and chuckles. He laughed when he felt Henrik swat at him. He loved this. Just relaxing with Henrik. It helped him a lot. It calmed him down more than anything else could.  
They laid there for about ten minutes in silence. Both of them just enjoying each other and relaxing. Eventually Henrik sighed and sat up.   
“I need to get going… Come see me later.” Henrik bent down and kissed Anti’s cheek before getting up and leaving. Anti’s eyes were wide and his cheek was tingling where Henrik had kissed it and his face was burning. He lightly touched the spot and a soft smile stretched his lips. He curled up and laid there, gently holding his cheek and smiling happily. This had to be the best moment of his life.   
Anti left his room a few hours later and walked downstairs to Henrik’s office. He ran a hand through his hair and walked in. He looked around and saw Henrik bend over his desk doing paperwork. His glasses were sliding down his nose and his hair was a little ruffled and his eyes looked tired. His hand moved fast across the papers as he wrote and read over things. Anti raised an eyebrow and walked over, laying his hands on Henrik’s shoulders. He smirked when Henrik jumped. He gently squeezed Henrik’s shoulders and looked down at the paperwork and scowled. It was all too much. He didn’t know how Henrik did this day in and day out. He huffed softly and laid his head on Henrik’s shoulder and closed his eyes and smiled when he felt Henrik lightly pet his hair.   
They stayed like that for a little while. Just enjoying their company. Henrik went back to filling out paperwork and Anti just watched him silently. Anti blinked slowly and pressed his face against Henrik’s shoulder and drawing in a deep breath. He loved the way Henrik smelled. It calmed him and kept him from getting lost in his thoughts. He smiled when he felt Henrik press a soft kiss to the side of his head. He huffed softly and pulls back and stands up and places his hands back on Henrik’s shoulders and watched Henrik as he worked. He cocks his head to the side and pressed his thumbs to the back of Henrik’s neck and rubbed gently. He felt Henrik tense slightly under his hands before relaxing and leaning back. He blinked slowly and smiled softly. He felt like he could stay here forever with his hands on Henrik and with Henrik leaning back against him.   
Anti evenly left Henrik’s office, going to the kitchen to grab a cup of tea. He had just finished making it when he heard of the others walk in. He looked over his shoulder and he was met with Marvin standing there, staring at him. He scowled and turned towards Marvin.   
“What are you doing?” Marvin asked, his voice hesitant yet hostile. Anti raised an eyebrow and his body tensed.   
“What do you mean?”   
“What are you doing to Henrik?” Marvin nearly spit the words.   
“I’m not doing anything to Henrik.” Anti said and narrows his eyes. He could feel his body glitching as he became defensive. He watched as Marvin moved closer and he could tell that Marvin didn’t believe him at all.   
“You’re lying. You’re doing something. Henrik has never wanted to be around you since you… Since what you did to him. You’re doing something to him and I’ll be damned before I let you hurt my friend again.” Marvin growled. Anti winced as he was reminded of what he had done. That wasn’t something he was proud of and it was something that he would never be proud of.   
“I’m telling you that I am not doing anything to him. If anything, he’s doing something to me.” Anti spat then stopped. He watched as Marvin stopped and they both just stared at each other. Anti snarled and he glitched away, his body shaking. He had let on a little too much.   
Anti was pacing around his room hours later, his body still glitching and he was shaking bad. He should had kept his mouth shut. He didn’t like showing his feeling around the others. It was still hard for him to be even a little open around Henrik and he liked Henrik more than the others. He ran a hand through his hair and snarled. He was sure his eyes were black from anger and fear. He hated opening up. It made him weak. Made him stupid. He had said too much to Marvin. Gotten too close to Henrik. He was weak. He was stupid. He shouldn't have said or done anything. He gripped his hair and yanked on it, letting out a strange glitching noise. He could feel the shakes getting worse and worse and the glitches were starting to become painful. He knew he was getting too worked up but he didn’t know how to calm himself down. He couldn’t calm himself down. He held out his hand and felt a knife come to it. He wrapped his hand around it and squeezed it tight. He let out a glitched scream and tore at the bandages around his throat and ripped them off. He pressed his knife against the stitches and sliced across them. He felt the wound reopen and felt warm thick blood trickle down his neck and chest. He screamed and it was so glitched and warped that even he didn’t recognize it. He threw the knife and heard it stab into a wall. He gripped his hair and tugged on it hard and screamed again. He could feel his body glitching out and he was faint aware of the lights in his room flickering. He heard his door slam open and someone scream his name before everything went black.   
Anti woke up in a bed. He groaned softly and slowly blinked his eyes open and was met with very concerned blue eyes behind thick framed glasses. He blinked and licked his lips. His mouth felt dry as cotton. He slowly sat up and he felt arms go around him and help lift him up. He swallowed and groaned, rubbing his face. He felt drained of energy and sore. He touched his neck and felt more bandages there. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. His scalp hurt and his body felt like it had been pushed to its limits, which it probably had. He swallowed again.   
He looked at Henrik and saw that Henrik looked more tired than he normally did and he looked extremely worried, but he could also see anger, fear and relief there too. He blinked and sighed.   
“Why?” Henrik asked and shook his head. “Why did you do that? What happened to cause that. I’ve never seen you like that before. You scared me Anti… You scared me bad.” Henrik’s voice started out strong then lowered to a whisper by the end. He looked like he had tears in his eyes. Anti frowned.   
“I… Marvin and I were talking and… I don’t know. I said more than I wanted…”   
“And that caused you to lose it?! What did you say that was so bad?!” Henrik nearly screamed. “I thought I was going to lose you Anti. You were covered in so much blood and you didn’t wake up for days…” Henrik whispered and rubbed his eyes. Anti’s eyes widened. He had been out for days, but it didn’t feel that long. Although that would explain why he felt so bad. He must have pushed his body to it’s limits. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.   
“He was grilling me because he was scared I was doing something to you… I told him I wasn’t but he didn’t believe me so he kept pushing and I eventually told him it was the other way around…” He sighed and looked at Henrik. Henrik was staring at him blinking.  
“Really? That happened all because you told someone you have feelings for me? Oh Anti… You can be so incredibly stupid…” Henrik sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You worry me sometimes you know? It’s okay for people to know you have feelings. It’s okay if you tell someone you like someone. It’s okay. The world won’t come to an end. No one will suddenly come out and attack you because you like someone. No one will hurt you for caring. Especially not one of us Anti. plus it’s a good thing that they know you have feelings. It means they’ll trust you. Like I do Anti.” Henrik said and stroked Anti’s cheek. Anti blushed and looked away, scowling. He heard Henrik chuckle.   
“You are so stubborn, but so is everyone else so you come by it honestly. Okay. Now you stay here. I’m going to go get you some warm tea and something small to eat then you should continue to rest. You shouldn’t strain yourself Anti. You pushed your body hard when you had a… I guess you could call it a freak out.” Henrik smiled then walked away.  
Anti was laying on the small bed in Henrik’s office, watching the doctor do his thing. He had been here for the past few days as his body regained it’s strength. He had saw some of the others come and go. They had watched him but hadn’t said anything to him. He sometimes heard his name in passing a few times when the others would come and whenever he’d ask Henrik about it, he would be cagey about it and wouldn’t tell him anything about it. He sighed and slowly sat up. He felt much better but Henrik wouldn’t let him leave. He was sure it was because Henrik was scared that he would lose it again and not because Henrik thought Anti needed more rest. He slowly stood up and walked over to Henrik. He touched Henrik’s shoulders and looked down at the paperwork he was doing. He felt Henrik tense then relax and lean back. He looked down when Henrik tilted his head back to stare at him. He raised his eyebrows and saw Henrik smile. He curled a hand around Henrik’s throat and gently rubbed it before sliding his hand up Henrik’s jaw to his lips and lightly traced them. He watched as Henrik closed his eyes and parted his lips. He licked his lips and stared down at Henrik. He wanted to kiss Henrik. He wanted to hold Henrik close. He wanted to do things with Henrik. He hoped Henrik wanted the same with him. He watched as Henrik opened his eyes and looked up at him. He bit his lip and saw Henrik’s eyes dart down to his lips. He smirked slightly. He stepped back as Henrik stood up and stretched.   
Anti let his eyes trail over Henrik’s skinnier form and licked his lips. He looked up as Henrik turned towards him. He licked his lips and Henrik stepped up close to him and stood directly in front of him. He stared into Henrik’s eyes and grabbed Henrik’s hips and pulled him close. He smirked when Henrik drew in a sharp breath and placed his hands on his chest. He licked his lips and looked down at Henrik’s lips. He watched as Henrik leaned forward and closed his eyes as Henrik’s lips touch his.   
The kiss started out soft and sweet. Just a simple press of lips until Anti moved his lips. He felt Henrik draw in a sharp breath then moved his lips back, tuning it into a real kiss. Anti wrapped his arms around Henrik’s waist and pulled him closer, tilting his head and deepened the kiss. He felt Henrik wrap his arms around his shoulders and lean against him, kissing back. The kiss started getting deeper and rougher until Henrik finally pulled back. They stared at each other panting softly and panting softly. He smirked when he saw Henrik’s red cheeks, half lidded eyes and swollen lips. He heard Henrik huff. He leaned forward and kissed Henrik again, gently biting Henrik’s lower lip. He heard a barely there moan come from Henrik. He growled and pulled Henrik closer. Henrik pulled away, panting softly. Anti watched as Henrik took deep breaths and swallowed. He growls and gently squeezed Henrik and smirked when he felt Henrik shutter.   
“Bedroom. Now.” Henrik said. Anti smirked and took Henrik’s head and led him up the stairs.  
Anti laid on his back, still panting slightly. He was holding Henrik to his chest, rubbing Henrik’s bareback. He could feel Henrik’s warm breath on his chest and Henrik’s fingers drawing little patterns against his stomach. He ran a hand through Henrik’s hair and kissed the top of Henrik’s head. He smiled when he felt Henrik kiss his chest. He looked down at Henrik and saw that Henrik was looking up at him, a soft smile on his lips, his hair all over the place and his lips still swollen from their kissing. He smirked and leaned down and kissed Henrik again, gently nipping his lower lip. He felt Henrik smile against his lips and snuggle closer. Anti laid back down and rubbed Henrik's back, enjoying this. He had fun with Henrik and he loved this. The soft sweet moment between them now. Henrik always seemed to draw the soft side of him out. Henrik made him happy, made him relaxed. He kissed the top of Henrik’s head and held Henrik closer, hoping that this would last. This thing between them would grow to something bigger and better.   
Anti and Henrik were downstairs, eating dinner with the others. The air was still tense but not as tense as before and everyone seemed to be relaxed around Anti now. He and Henrik were holding hands under the table and he was sure that everyone knew they were. He licked his lips and ate in mostly silence. He would speak every now and then, but mostly he listened to the others talk about anything and everything. He snickered at some of the banter in the room and would sometimes squeeze Henrik’s hand when he started to feel that little anxiety act up. He took a deep breath and smiled softly and cut his eyes towards Henrik who was speaking about one thing or another. He wasn’t really paying attention to what Henrik was saying, but the sound of his voice and how he was moving while he talked. He smiles and gently squeezes Henrik’s hand.   
“So… Let’s just address this. We know you two fucked.” Jackie said. “So I’m guessing you two are a thing now?” Jackie looked between them.   
Anti spit out the drink he had taken a drink of and coughed and Henrik's eyes widen and he sat back fast, gasping and not getting anything out. They both stared at Jackie.   
“What?” Jackie looked between them. “The walls are thin and you two weren’t that quiet.” Anti groaned and covered his face and he could hear Henrik sputtering beside him. He heard some of the others laugh.  
“So, you two a thing are not?” Anti shrugged and refused to look up and he could hear Henrik trying to explain things that were going on between them.   
“You hurt him and I’ll hurt you.” Marvin said. Anti lifted his head and locked eyes with Marvin. They stared each other down before Anti nodded. Marvin nodded back. He felt Henrik gently squeeze his hand. He squeezed back and smiled softly, looking at Henrik. He watched as Henrik smiled back.   
“You two are so cute that it’s disgusting.” Marvin said, but he was smiling. Anti huffed and scowled at him, but there was no anger in the look. Marvin just laughed.   
Henrik had drug Anti back to his room after dinner and they were now laying in bed again, panting and holding each other close. Anti was holding Henrik close and rubbing his back as Henrik snuggled close to his chest, panting softly and smiling. He kissed the top of Henrik’s head and gently squeezed Henrik. He felt Henrik kiss his chest and he smiled. He looked down at Henrik and found Henrik smiling up at him. He smiled back.   
“So, going back to what Jackie said earlier, would you want to be a thing?” Henrik asked softly, his eyes falling to Anti’s chest. Anti blinked and his lips parted. He would love that. He would love being with Henrik. Henrik made him happy and relaxed, made him calm and kept the nightmares away. Henrik made him smile and laugh. Henrik made his day so much better. He kissed Henrik’s forehead.   
“Henrik…” Anti said softly. He watched as Henrik looked up at him and licked his lips.  
“Yeah…?”   
“I would love to be your boyfriend.” Anti smiled and watched as Henrik’s whole face lit up. He yelped as Henrik kissed him hard. He kissed back hard and held Henrik close.   
“Good. Now you are my boyfriend. Meine Liebe.” Henrik said and Anti chuckles.   
“I don’t know much German but I do know that means ‘my love’.” Anti smiles and kisses Henrik.   
“Good. Because you’ll be hearing it a lot.” Henrik chuckles. Anti smiles and held Henrik close.  
“I look forward to it.” Anti said and kissed Henrik softly, and he did. He’d always look forward to Henrik. Henrik was the light of his life and he would cherish him for as long as he was able to.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys loved this. It took me days to do and ended up WAY longer than I intended it to be, but oh well. I'm happy with it. Thank you all for reading and have a wonderful time!!!!!!!!


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